alessnox: Aless Nox - A writer (Default)
 This story, though popular on AO3 is less popular on fanfiction.net. This may have to do with the fact that the AO3 version contains explicit sex scenes, and the ffnet version does not. Personally I can’t tell which is better. The one with sex has more time for characterization, but the sex scenes...

1. When I read my own sex scenes, they sound cheesy to me. I feel self conscious.
2. The no sex version is shorter.
3. I have a limited window when I can read the sex scenes without my kids or husband being around to hear me.
4. There is some prudish part of myself that feels that if I record myself describing sex scenes that I will have it come back to me and cause me trouble, and that is so sad. It is so sad it makes me cry that in 2018, at my age, that I would worry about schools, or judges, or legal cases for reading things, but I remember things like the women jailed in China, and the damn content filters, and laws that arbitrarily change making things illegal that were once legal, and I feel so mad at myself for feeling fear. What if the website I post this on labels me as someone who distributes pornography to minors? Is that a felony?

Then I calm myself down, and say, If that is the case, you are already doomed for having written it in the first place. In for a penny, in for a pound.
5. All this will come through in my voice and make me sound hesitant or embarrassed, and there is nothing worse than an embarrassed reading of a person’s work. I almost wish I could get somone else to read those bits. It would work for this work because there are three different voices.

in the end, I think I will start by reading the explicit version while they’re sleeping. If my husband hears me, he will laugh, and mockery doesn’t make it any easier to read. More later.

Omega This

Aug. 14th, 2014 02:58 am
alessnox: Aless Nox - A writer (Default)
Today, I began reading an omega fic, and I am beginning to think that omega stories are some of the scariest ones that I've read in my life.

If you don't know, Alpha, Beta, Omega stories are fan fiction stories that are based loosely on a perceived hierarchy of Wolf politics that has been highly popularized in some circles. In this universe, all people are classed into these three groups whether male or female. These alternate sexes determine who they will mate with, and males are a sort of hermaphrodite with a kind of cloaca as well as a penis.

This strange made up biology means that you can have male pregnancy or mpreg which is one of the stranger things about these stories, and for a long time I looked on these stories with mild amusement and disbelief. But as I have delved deeper into the stories, I become more and more horrified, and here is my take on the psychology of Alpha/ Beta/ Omega politics.

ALPHA / OMEGA SEX

Almost all of the alpha Omega stories that I have seen have a relationship between two men, an Alpha, and an Omega.
The Alpha is dominant and will mount and mate with the Omega. The Omega will submit to being mounted, and will almost always become pregnant from a mating. The Omega goes into heat, and will accept any male at that time. The Alpha will be possessive. Fight for the omega, and bite and scratch her/him during sex. Neither Alphas nor Omegas have any control over their ability to mate. They must mate when the scent (hormones) overtake them.

Alpha/Omega sex seems to me to be the perception of sex as seen by a preteen. Sexual desire is something that they see affecting older youth. As a preteen their bodies will have begun to change, but their minds are still like those of children. They don't understand the desire that others feel, only the outer manifestations of such desire. They see people not much older than themselves going to great lengths to have sex. They see them having sex even when it leads to unwanted pregnancy. They hear stories of people saying, "I just couldn't control myself" and sexual desire becomes an alluring and yet frightening prospect.

For the young girl, sex is a process by which she gets mounted. She may have heard that it will be painful at first, but then she will begin to like it. Having had her period, she understands that bodily secretions from the sex organs are normal, but she may still be confused about what will happen and how.

The alpha/ omega stories are full of bodily secretions for both males and females. Men are seen as indefatigable, desiring sex and willing to impregnate their mates over and over. The females are seen as wanton and may be called derogatory names such as "sluts". Neither of the participants can consciously control their bodies. They are not to blame. They are not at fault. It is all chemistry.

This fantasy allows a person to indulge in sexual desires that they may have been taught was shameful in an acceptable way. They can't control their desires. Sexual desire takes them. They have no control or responsibility for their own actions. Everyone forgives them for it, because there was nothing else that they could do.

Alpha/Omega sex is often violent. It is often nonconsensual. Also, after being forced and usually hurt, they admit to having enjoyed the sex. Afterwards the violence is explained way. "Sorry honey, I didn't mean to hurt you, I just couldn't control myself because you were so hot".

WHY ARE THEY MOSTLY MEN?

I think that most of the alpha / omega sex stories have two men as protagonists, because having a woman be sexually dominated is too threatening to many women. They need that extra layer of abstraction to get any enjoyment of it. In many cultures, women are taught to fear men. Many women believe that some or even most men would rape them if given a chance. They live in fear of such things, and stories about women being sexually dominated by men are uncomfortable. Stories where men are being violent to men are common, however. Men are used to violence, and they are not women, so although the female reader can empathize with the men, they do not fully identify with them.

OMEGAVERSE?

Alpha / Omega stories feel sort of tainted to me. They also make me sad. They imply that the cultures that we live in are nowhere near as open and egalitarian as we would wish for. They imply that women still fear sexual violence, and need coping mechanisms to deal with said violence when it occurs. It implies that sexual education is so lacking that many people have their first sexual experiences with very little understanding of the act, and with lots of misinformation and fear.

SO WHY IS IT STILL HERE?
Because it turns the women on. Even if a woman instinctively knows that being hurt and forced to have sex is wrong, she may still have the desire to be sexually dominated. For many woman, admitting this causes shame.  This abstracted form of sex allows many people to fulfill their desires without having to admit why it turns them on, even to themselves.

The stories also deal with issues of great relevance to women such as pregnancy, family politics, childbirth, child rearing, emotional bonding with mates and children, breast feeding, etc. The absurdity of the sexual biology allows one to discount it saying that it is just fantasy, while still finding meaning in the stories.

I still find myself heavily conflicted by this genre. On the one hand, it is good that women find a way to get sexual fulfillment and to talk about issues that disturb them. On the other hand, it is sad that so many women are emotionally unable to directly talk about these issues due to societal values and shaming. Despite women's advances in the last century, I don't imagine that the need for these stories will be going away any time soon.
alessnox: Aless Nox - A writer (Default)
Mycroft Confessions, Truth, and Lies
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8392958/7/Mycroft-Confessions-Truth-and-Lies
AO3 copy
Being a steward of the British Nation is hard work, but not, it seems, as hard as taking care of his wild-child younger brother Sherlock. When his loner brother suddenly takes a flatmate, Mycroft wonders what is happening, and who is this Dr. John H. Watson.
Sherlock fanfic
Genre: POV, angst, friendship
Rating: mild - sensuality, allusions to torture, same sex romance,
Words: 16,776
Published: 8-4-12
Characters: Mycroft H. & John W.

This story gets the most consistent amount of reads of anything that I have written. It starts at the beginning of series one and ends at Reichenbach, but it never leaves the point of view of Mycroft Holmes.

I started this to explore some inconsistencies that I saw in Mycroft's character. In other portrayals of Sherlock Holmes, Mycroft is far more removed and cold. He and Sherlock hardly ever talk. The overprotective brother shown in BBC's Sherlock is very different from those portrayals. I began to wonder what kind of life this solitary man led. How did he live, what did he value, and especially what did he think of John Watson? This also gave me an opportunity to comment on the John/Sherlock relationship from the outside.

I could have kept Mycroft cold and heartless, but he doesn't come across that way in the show. He actually seems quite affectionate, in his way. In fact, he was very polite and respectful to John after their initial meeting, and I began to wonder if he might feel something more. It was the scene in the coffee shop that got me. Why was Mycroft in a coffee shop with John? Why was he downstairs instead of upstairs pestering his brother? It seemed out of character. Then I thought, this is not the first time that John and Mycroft have met to talk about Sherlock. They must have this entire relationship with each other separate from Sherlock's relationship with John. My eyes widened and my mouth dropped open as I contemplated it. When did it start? What do they discuss? How often do they meet? John isn't getting paid, what does he get out of it? Are they friends?

I imagined a John that was friends with both of the Holmes brothers. WOW, what a strange and special person he must be to be able to accomplish that. And there it began.

In this story, I was able to use a very formal writing structure taking note of the openings and closings of sections and having a bit of a circular ending. As a challenge, it was quite an accomplishment, and I am proud of it.

If you have a chance to read it, tell me what you think.


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