Works In Progress - The Quiet Man

Okay, I'm just trying out a few things, and I haven't quite got permission yet (She said that it was Okay!), but here is my version of chapter 1 of The Quiet Man by IvyBlossom which I really like.
If you have a moment, please tell me:

1) Did the player work?
2) Anything that you notice that I need to work on?

For example, my h said that he could not tell who is talking. I suppose that I need to find a way to distinguish John's voice from his therapist. So I'm trying to think up a John voice.

I'm using the technique of talking closer to the microphone when he thinks (close miked) and further away when he talks.

Any more comments?

Work in Progress: The Quiet Man Chapter 1 - Forty three minutes